Sunday, March 9, 2008

what not to say to a woman

I've been waiting a couple of days to post this story. Waiting to see if it would still be as funny...and it is. Brian Regan has a sketch on his CD where he talks about putting your foot in your mouth. Part of that sketch goes like this:

brian - (to a lady) "Hey when's that BAY-BEE due?"
lady - "What baby?"
brian - "At the zoo! The pandas! I knew they were trying to have one. Thought we'd talk about the fluffly zoo animals. I hear they got 'em over there. You can look at 'em. Touch 'em if you want."

Hopefully you know where I'm going with this. Katy and I visited this maternity store last Wednesday in San Luis Obispo where I had radar training. We walk in and this lady greets us by saying, "Hi folks! When are you due?" Kind of a strange question, but a little understandable since Katy and I are still a young couple and we did just walk into a maternity store. Well we walked around for a while and finally went to checkout with a t-shirt we found. I'm standing at the counter not 18 inches from this same lady and I noticed she had a low cut shirt on that greatly enhanced what looked to be a perfectly round pregnant belly. The lady looked older, mid-late forties maybe, so I thought she might be pregnant. However, that Brian Regan sketch came to mind and I thought, "No way am I going to ask her." So then my dear sweet pregnant wife pipes up and the following conversation ensues:

katy - "so when are you due?"
lady - "I'm not due. I'm fat!"
katy - "NOHOHOHOHOH!" (sound like a horse neighing)
lady - "Yeah, I'm 60. I have no more eggs. I'd like another but I can't."
katy - "NOHOHOHOHOH!" (again, a sound like a horse neighing)
rob - "So is the receipt in the bag? We have your card. We'll come by again if we're in town!"

Holy moley. I couldn't believe she asked the question. Good times.

4 comments:

Greg Squires said...

nice. yep, it was as funny as you thought it would be. way to go with your gut. (pun intended)

Unknown said...

I just spit coffee all over my keyboard. Please warn readers before posting something like that.

Colleen said...

ok, can I just tell you how funny it is to read this story and then look over at Katy's bright smile to the right of your blog? I pretty much laughed out loud more than once reading this story. Josh linked me to it in an email for that very reason. haha! I can actually picture Rob's voice telling the story. Miss you guys.
Love, Colleen

Anonymous said...

Good stuff! It could have been worse ...
Have you ever guessed somebody’s gender wrong? There’s no recovering from that. You’ve just gotta move on because you ain’t wrigglin’ out of nothin’. “Hey, excuse me, sir.”

“MA’AM!”

“OK. Bye, Human. Bye, Person. Nice to meet you, Individual.”

~Briaaaan